Insanity
by cindythechef
Summary: Henry has died and we find out why he started to "train" Shawn at such a young age and why Gus is worried about Shawn's sanity now that his Dad is gone. Contains suggested child Shawn whump and adult Shawn whump. Lassiter and Shawn relationship but not slash.
1. Chapter 1

Gus came into the SBPD and ran up to Lassiter and Juliet's desk and asked them if either of them had seen or heard from Shawn. Juliet looked worried and told him no, she hadn't heard from him since the wake for his Dad at the Spencer home.

Gus sat in the chair next to the desk looking almost sick with worry. Lassiter got up from his desk and walked over in front of Gus and asked, "Why are you so worried about Shawn? You don't think that he would do anything to himself do you?"

Gus rubbed his face not knowing how to voice his concern without telling them everything but he decided that this was a desperate situation and maybe they needed to know everything. Gus said, "Listen we need to talk about Shawn, can we go into the conference room?"

Lassiter and Juliet both looked at each other odd but agreed. Juliet signaled for Gus to lead the way. The three sat in the conference room in silence or a moment then Gus began, "You guys know that Shawn and his Dad had a special relationship to say the least."

Lassiter commented, "Yeah I don't think I have ever seen such an over protective father as Henry was and Heaven help you if you had to tell him something happened to Shawn or if you dare do anything to hurt him"

Gus looked at Lassiter, "There is a reason why Henry was so protective of Shawn. That is the same reason I am so worried about him now."

Juliet was getting annoyed and worried, "GUS PLEASE, just tell us why you are worried about Shawn?"

Gus began to tell them about the year that defined the Spencer men.

It was the year 1980-

Shawn was a lively and energetic 3 year old. Henry and Maddie loved him so much. Then in March, Henry was working on a case involving a group of child pornographers. Henry and his partner managed to arrest most of the horrible people that were hurting kids in Santa Barbara. Unfortunately he was not able to capture the two men who ran the group. Those two men decided to get revenge on Henry for ruining their business. They kidnapped Shawn.

Shawn was missing for 3 months. He had his fourth birthday while those maniacs held him. They did horrible things to Shawn. They would take pictures of the horrible things being done to him and send it to Henry, with a note telling him, "These images of Shawn are going out world wide, you may have thought you stopped us, you just gave us a handsome new subject to have fun with".

Henry hardly slept or ate, every minute he was awake was spent looking for Shawn. He would get sick to his stomach every time he got another envelope with picture in it. In that 3 months that they had Shawn they sent Henry a new package every 4 days. Each set of pictures you could tell the abuse the poor kid must have endured.

One night when he pulled in the driveway from work there was a large trash bag on the front porch with a note on it that said, "We are done with him, for now. But he was fun we may be back for more when he gets a little older"

He ripped open the bag and inside was the naked, bloody and beaten Shawn. He was barely alive. Henry wrapped him in a quilt and him and Maddie took him to the hospital. He was in the hospital for a month recovering from his wounds.

He wouldn't let anyone touch him even his Mom. Henry would lie in the bed with a terrified Shawn curled up next to him for hours. It took Shawn a whole year to even start to talk again. Henry made a deal with Shawn. He would be there to protect him if he was brave enough to start to go back to school.

Henry was always there. If someone as much as picked on Shawn, Henry would be there to defend him. I don't think the threat that they might come back and hurt Shawn again ever left his mind.

That was about the time that Henry started to "train" Shawn. He trained him to be hyper observant of his surroundings and he taught him every survival skill he knew. You all heard about the time he locked him in a trunk and taught him how to escape from a moving vehicle. He did everything in his power to either protect him or give him the tools he needed to protect himself.

Henry was always there when Shawn needed him and I mean always, the man would appear out of thin air. I think the man had spies everywhere.

Because his Dad was so protective that gave Shawn the courage he needed to start to live again.

Henry never stopped protecting Shawn like that injured 4-year-old. In a way Shawn never progressed emotionally past that violated 4-year-old. Now that his Dad isn't there to "Protect him" I am really worried what Shawn will do.

Lassiter looked at Gus and asked, "You and Spencer are about the same age, how do you know all of this?"

Gus looked between Juliet and Lassiter, "When Shawn came back and we started Psych, Henry had me come over and he told me everything, he even showed me some of the pictures, they were horrible. He told me that he needed me to help protect Shawn, whether that meant calling him or stopping Shawn from being stupid. Guys, I am really frightened for Shawn, I am not sure how he is going to react now that the man he relied on for protection is gone."

Lassiter looked at O'Hara and then let out a huge sigh, "Gus lets go find Spencer!"


	2. Chapter 2

Lassiter and Gus went out and checked Psych and Shawn's apartment but neither looked like anyone had been there for days. Gus told Lassiter, "The only other place he could be was his Dad's house, which I guess, is his house now."

They got to the Spencer home and they found Henry's old truck in the driveway and Shawn's motorcycle parked beside it. They were relieved that they finally found Shawn.

They went up to the door and they found the door slightly ajar and the door jam was splintered from where someone kicked the door in. Lassiter pulled his gun and told Gus to stay there.

Lassiter cleared the downstairs then headed upstairs. Shawn's bedroom was torn a part. The normal perfect room was in complete disarray.

That didn't concern him as much as the bloody hand prints all over the walls and the puddles of blood on the floor. In the center of the floor broken in several pieces was the Shawn's iPhone. The bed sheets looked like some one shredded them with a knife and there were several ripped and bloodied articles of clothing spread around the room.

Lassiter cleared that room and then headed to Henry's bedroom. What he found there almost made him sick. Shawn was wrapped in his favorite quilt but you could hardly tell it was Shawn. He was beaten, bloody and naked.

Lassiter yelled down to Gus to call for back up and an ambulance. But told him to wait downstairs. He knew that Shawn would be horrified if Gus saw him like this.

Lassiter slowly inched toward Shawn but Shawn flinched and scooted back in the bed, he had a wild and terrified look in his eyes, that broke his heart, he thought, who in the world could hurt him like this.

Lassiter tried to soothe Shawn, it did nothing to calm him so did what Shawn was used to hearing from him, he tried yelling. Nothing he did was calming the younger man. He sat there wrapped in that blanket staring off into space and clenching a white piece of paper in his hands, his whole body just shaking.

When it looked like Shawn passed out either from exhaustion or his injuries, Lassiter took the opportunity to remove the quilt and look at his injuries that he had yet to be able to asses.

He pried the bloodied paper from Shawn's hand and when he started to read it, the color in his face drained out. The paper read;

_Dear Shawn, _

_Sorry about dear old Dad. I think you and I have some unfinished business to attend to. When I am done with you this time, I promise I will send you back to your Dad in Hell where you both belong. _

Lassiter finally got to take a good look at Shawn. He was obviously beaten badly he had several deep cuts on his fore head and he could tell several areas on the quilt were soaked with blood. "Oh God Shawn what did those animals do to you?"

The paramedics arrived and gently removed the blanket and placed the young mam on the gurney. Lassiter noticed, what looked like 3 stab wounds, deep scratches all over his body and his backside was bleeding profusely.

Lassiter made sure that they covered Shawn as they took him past his friends and coworkers and before the paramedics left he grabbed their arms and said, "This man is the most successful detective in the SBPD, he has been horribly violated and rapped. I know you have to do certain tests on him but you make sure everything you do to him or say to him is done with the proper level of respect. Do you understand me? The man also has no family in town so, no word of his condition or injuries to anyone except me. Got it!"

With a "yes sir" they whisked Shawn to the hospital. Lassiter sat on the end of the bed trying to formulate what they he was going to tell Gus and Juliet.

He slowly went down stairs and found Gus, Juliet and Vick sitting on the couch waiting to hear what happened to Shawn and why he forbid them from going up there to help.

Lassiter sat down on the coffee table rubbed the stress from his face and he began, "It looks like the same freaks that kidnapped Shawn as a toddler all those years ago finally came back to finish the job.

He showed them the bloodied piece of paper, that was neatly in an evidence bag, that he took from Shawn's hands, "When I found him he was beaten pretty badly and it looked like what clothes he had on were literally ripped off of him, I found him naked, bleeding and wrapped up in a quilt. When I first arrived he was awake but he wouldn't speak and wouldn't let me come near him. I was able to take this and examine him some after he got so panicked he actually passed out. I didn't let you all up there because the scene up there is grizzly and I want to make sure we keep his dignity in tact as much as possible"

"His dignity intact, it was that bad?" said, Juliet. Lassiter bit his lip and looked at the floor, "Yes Jules it was that bad, now he needs us to all go to the hospital and be there for him if, I mean when he wakes up. Gus why don't you and Juliet go wait in my car and we will go to the hospital together."

They left leaving Chief Vick and Lassiter alone in the room. Vick looked in Lassiter's eye, "Detective, answer me this, did they, you know?" she couldn't say the words but the look on her face finished her thought.

Lassiter swallowed deeply, "Chief, yes they did, when he was being loaded he was actively bleeding from his backside, they must have violated him severely to leave him bleeding like he was. I knew that he would die if Gus and Juliet would have seen him in the shape he was in."

Chief Vick patted his leg, "Carlton, thank you for being a good friend to him, I agree with you about not sharing that with Gus and O'Hara. You go to the hospital and I will over see the processing of the scene myself and I will make sure only the people I can trust not to share details are let upstairs."

Lassiter smiled at the Chief and left to head to the hospital.


	3. Chapter 3

Author note: Please forgive the delay in updating; I had a hard drive crash (Lesson learned always back up, I didn't) I was out of a computer for a few LONG days. Also I went and reread the last chapter I will try and fix those errors this week. Thank you for reading my story. I hope you enjoy Chapt 3

Lassiter, Juliet and Gus arrived about 45 minutes after Shawn got to the hospital. Lassiter told them to have a seat and he would go and check on Shawn.

He walked to the reception desk and told the nurse, "I am Head Detective Carlton Lassiter and I was working a scene earlier and need to check on the young man that was brought in, his name is Shawn Spencer."

The nurse looked through her records and told him to follow her.

When Gus and Juliet saw him head back they started to follow but Lassiter motioned for them to wait. Juliet sat back into her chair with a huff. She looked at Gus and said, "The way Lassiter is being so secretive and protective is really frightening me, what must have happened to Shawn?"

Gus answered, "I know me too Jules, it is kind of like Lassiter is being some sort of warped surrogate father for Shawn, its weird!"

Lassiter walked back to the room where Shawn was being treated. He introduced himself to the doctor and took out his notebook and pen to write down details for the report he was dreading having to write. The doctor began to inventory Shawn's injuries for Lassiter, "He has three deep stab wounds, which we will take him to surgery soon to repair. He is also covered in these small scratches, we aren't sure what they came from, they might be fingernail tracks from the people that attacked him and Shawn fighting them. The cut on the forehead looks to be from a smack on the head with a pistol. The part of his injuries that worry me the most is his rectum. I can tell you that the rape kit came up with two distinct fluid samples and they are running the DNA now. But a simple case of rape would not have injured him like he is, I am afraid we may be looking at a ruptured bowel. They must have done some unimaginable things to him. We are taking him to surgery now. Detective Lassiter, if you are also this mans friend, let me be frank with you. I am confident that we can heal his body but his mind is going to be a lot tougher to heal. He is going to need a lot of loving support from friends and family."

Lassiter shut his notebook and said, "Thank you doctor, he doesn't have any family left, but he does have a ton of friends that will be right there beside him to help him every step of the way."

With that said he stood and watched the doctor wheel and unconscious Shawn to the operating room. He sat in a chair by the exit and rubbed his face. He wasn't sure how much he should tell Gus and Juliet, would it hurt Shawn more to deal with them knowing or would it help? Either way he knew as soon as Shawn was out of surgery he had some VERY bad guys he was going to arrest and try really hard to find a reason to shoot them.

He sighed hard then went through the doors to give Juliet and Gus and update. When the two saw Lassiter come through the door looking even more stressed than when he went in they really got anxious. Lassiter paused for a moment before speaking.

"Shawn is alive and he is in surgery now to fix his wounds, the doctor is confidant that they will be able to heal his body but his mind and spirit is going to take a while longer and a lot more work. Lets go into the room in the back here and I will fill you in on what happened to Shawn in that room."

The three friends went to a small private waiting area, they all sat down and Juliet began, "Lassiter, I am so proud of the way that you are protecting Shawn, but we want to protect him too let us in so we know how best to help Shawn."

Lassiter gave his tired and stressed face another rub and then told Juliet and Gus, "Well guys it looks like the men that took Shawn as a child came back and tried to finish the job, He has scratches all over his body from where he tried to struggle against the attack, 3 knife wounds and a slashed forehead."

Gus was starting to get a little impatient, "You told us that much at the house what did they DO to Shawn?"

Lassiter looked at Gus and Juliet with tears in his eyes, "Shawn was raped by at least two men, and if that wasn't enough the scum didn't stop there they violated him with God knows what and they doctors think they did it with such force that his bowels may have been ruptured."

Juliet started to cry and Gus could just manage to keep muttering "Oh God, Oh God"

Lassiter actually got a little angry at their reactions, "It is okay to react like this around me, but we need to be strong for Shawn, we are all he has got now, we can try and get his Mom to come, but she is never in one place long enough to be a real help. Shawn is going to need us to be his strength for the for seeable future can we do it?"

Lassiter leaned in to Juliet and Gus, looking for an answer. Juliet wiped her eyes and said, "Loving someone means that you love them through good times and Bad. I will stand by him no matter what."

Gus said, "I have stuck with Shawn through thick and thin, since we were kids and believe me I am not planning on stopping now."

Lassiter patted both their legs and said, "GOOD! I already spoke with Chief; we are keeping the details of his attack as vague as possible, only those who need to know will know. I really think you two should not let on that you know the details and let Shawn have the power to tell you, if he wants you to know okay? I've worked with some male on male rapes when I first became a cop. These young men experienced a lot of the same emotions women do, but they aren't allowed to grieve and heal like women are. I never realized until those cases that 3% of men experience rape and that only counts the ones that seek help the actual number is probably much higher. Rape is a horrible thing for both sexes but for some reason society actually looks down on men for being raped, like they could have stopped it or secretly wanted it. I can tell you the terror I saw in Shawn's eye told me that he desperately tried to stop the attack and he definitely did not want to be injured like that."

Juliet reached up and hugged Lassiter. He didn't know what to do he awkwardly hugged her back. She told him while she was hugging him, "Thank you for being such a good friend to Shawn and us." Gus quickly agreed, "Yeah Lassie, thank you, I know Shawn looks up to you like a big brother, thank you for being there for him. We will all be there for him now."

A knock on the door interrupted them. It was the doctor. They motioned for him to come in and sit and the doctor came in and told the group that he had an update on Shawn. Lassiter whispered to the doc that the two people in the room could hear all the details.

The doctor shook his head and began, "The knife wounds turned out to be pretty tricky to fix, one hit his liver, one hit his stomach and the other hit his intestines. The injuries from the rape were more severe than we thought as well, his rectum was torn and his bowel was perforated in two places. He is going to be sedated for a very long time while these injuries are healing. We actually gave him a colostomy bag to keep anything from touching the delicate tissues of his rectum and bowel until they heal. We also inserted a PICC line to deliver the IV antibiotics. He will need them to fight the abdominal infection from all the waste that leaked into his abdomen from all those injuries. He has got a along road of to recovery, but I am confidant that he will recover. I can let you see him for a few minutes and then I would like for you all to go home and come back tomorrow before you see him again, I promise you he will not be awake anytime soon."


	4. Chapter 4

(2 chapters in one night just making up for lost time)

The doctor took the group to see their friend. Shawn was in bad shape he was so perfectly still it amazed them to see Shawn so still. He had all sorts of tubes sticking out of him. At first they didn't know what to do they all just stood there silent. Gus was the first to move, he went over to his best friend and rubbed his hair as he said, "Hey Buddy, you are alright now. No one is going to hurt you any more. I love you brother get better soon, when you do, it is all the smoothie action you can handle okay?"

Gus walked past Juliet and Lassiter with tears in his eyes. He went out to the hall to wait for them; he couldn't handle seeing Shawn like that anymore. Juliet was next to speak she came over to him and placed the sweetest gentlest kiss on his lips. She whispered in his ear, "I love you forever means just that forever, my love did not come with conditions. Remember that okay. I adore you and I cannot wait to see your beautiful green eyes staring at me again." One more kiss and she stepped back to let Lassiter speak, "I promise you Shawn, I _WILL_ get the men that did this to you and they _will_ pay for their crimes. I _will_ make sure that they can never hurt you or anyone else ever again."

He went to walk away and stopped dead in his tracks in front of Juliet. "They are still out there, we can't leave him alone!" He reached in his pocket and handed her his keys. "You take Gus to his car and talk with Chief Vick about setting up a security detail on Shawn's room. I am going to stay right here till the detail is set up." Juliet smiled at him and then said, "What about the doctor he told us we could only stay a few minutes?" Lassiter gave Juliet a raised eye brow, crooked mouth look and said, "I don't really care what the doctor said he cannot guarantee Shawn's protection and I can there is no debate Spencer's safety is paramount." Juliet stood on her tiptoes and kissed Lassiter on the cheek. He looked surprised and asked what that was for? She just smiled and walked out. Lassiter smiled and took up his guard duty next to Shawn.

Juliet took Gus back to the station to get his car. He thanked Juliet for everything and asked her to keep him informed and told her if she needed him to just call. Juliet walked into the station and she saw Chief Vick sitting at her desk holding her head in her hands. Juliet was a little worried when she saw the Chief's face. She went and knocked on the doorframe of her office and Vick motioned her to come in and shut the door.

Juliet sat down and asked, "Is her face was the product of the day or was there something else wrong?" Chief Vick bit her bottom lip and thought for a second before she spoke, "Well it is the day, processing the scene was something I hope I can forget one day soon. The other is this" She passed a manila envelope over to Juliet, and she opened the envelope. Inside were photos of Shawn at different stages of his attack on the final picture of Shawn lying naked on his fathers bed was a note saying,

"_We aren't done with Shawnie yet. We still have to send_

_him to be with his dear ole Dad."_

Juliet started to mist up again seeing the man that she loved tortured at the hand of these monsters. It was bad enough to imagine what happened to him but to now SEE the pictures was almost too much for Juliet.

She used the back of her hand to wipe her eyes and said with a tired cracking voice, "Well that leads up to what I needed to talk to you about. Lassiter sent me here to ask you to post a guard at Shawn's door until we catch these monsters."

Chief shook her head as to clear it and said, "Of course, Lassiter is right we need to make this happen. We can't let one of our own fall prey to these men again. Lassiter is with him now right?" Juliet shook her head yes. "Alright well let's gather these men (writing a list of names) and get the first guard on duty within the hour to let Lassiter get some rest. Can you handle this or do you need me to handle it?"

Juliet shook her head yes and assured Chief she could handle the job of setting up guard duty and she took the list and got to work.

Chief Vick sat at her desk and thought what a crappy month this had been. Loosing Henry Spencer an amazing cop and a friend. And now this attack on Shawn, she muttered to herself, "I would say what else could go wrong but dear Lord I don't want to know."

Back in the hospital Lassiter sat quiet in Shawn's darkened room his pistol was in his hand ready to be used at any moment. The doctor came through the door and scolded Lassiter, "Detective, I thought I told you to go home? You can't stay here tonight."

Lassiter looked the doctor straight in the eye, "The HELL I can't. This man has two people that raped and tortured him and they are still on the loose and they left a note saying that they plan on finishing the job. Last time I checked the nurses have at least four patients a piece and they aren't able to carry a gun, so until Shawn has his own gun toting nurse, my ass or the ass of some other officer will not be leaving Shawn's side. Do you understand me?"

The doctor threw up his hands in mock surrender and walked out of the room. Lassiter went back to his post. Sitting in silence.


	5. Chapter 5

Lassiter sat in silence in Shawn's darkened room for another two hours before his thoughts were interrupted with a knock on Shawn's door. With his gun drawn he went to open the door. He was relieved to see Chief Vick and Officer McNab who was standing guard on the outside of the room. Chief Vick came in to the room and sat with Lassiter by Shawn's bed.

They both sat in silence for a time then Vick said, "How is he doing? I haven't heard any updates yet?" Lassiter frowned and looked at the floor as he said, "He isn't well at all. They damn near killed him. If Spencer weren't such a stubborn son of a gun he would probably be dead. His biggest concern right now is the infection in his abdomen from the perforated bowel and the injuries to his other organs."

Chief Vick patted Lassiter on the shoulder and told him, "I know our Shawn, he isn't going to let this stop him, and he is a fighter. Go home Detective get some sleep, tomorrow we have some bad guys to catch." Lassiter smiled a halfhearted smile and got up to leave and then stopped and turned back to the Chief and asked, "I gave O'Hara my car, can I get a ride back to the station?" Vick snickered as she got up, "Oh course!"

After giving McNab some final instructions about who is allowed into the room they headed back to the station. Vick wanted Lassiter to get in his car and head home but he refused stating he needed something from his desk. When he came in to the near deserted station he found Juliet sitting at her desk looking at an envelope of pictures and she was crying so hard her body jumped every few minutes from the sobbing. He walked up to her cautiously he knew it couldn't be Spencer he just left him. He stood beside her desk just starring at her trying to figure out what was wrong. Juliet noticed someone standing beside her out of the corner of her eye and she jumped and shoved the pictures back into the envelope. When she noticed it was Lassiter she let out a deep breath and smacked at him saying, "You scared me to death, don't ever do that again."

Lassiter sat in the chair beside her desk and asked, "O'Hara what in the world has got you so upset?" Juliet rubbed the envelope and then passed it to Lassiter, "This is what has me upset, they came in the mail today."

Lassiter took the envelope and cautiously examined its contents. He surprised himself by dry heaving at the third picture; by the time he got to the last picture with the note on it, he was furious. He slammed the envelope back on the desk and told Juliet, "We are going to get these…'creatures' and stop them so help me God. It is bad enough to almost kill Spencer but to rub it in our faces like this it is insane. These men need to spend the rest of their days in a padded cell or better yet with a needle in their arm and a one way trip to Hell."

Chief Vick walked up right as he was yelling those words to Juliet, "I agree with you Detective but you both need a good nights sleep so we can attack this case with fresh and alert brains. Go home and sleep that is an order!" They both said, "Yes ma'am" Juliet locked the envelope in her desk and they both went home to go to sleep. They both started out of the station and then paused for a moment; Vick did not miss a beat she yelled, "HOME DETECTIVES!"

Outside the station Juliet gave Lassiter another hug and said, "Thank you again for all you did for Shawn today, I hope you sleep well and dream of something other than today." Lassiter smiled and told Juliet, "I hope the same for you, see you in the morning."

Juliet walked into her apartment and the first thing that she saw was one of Shawn's shirts hanging on the back of the couch. Normally she would be angry with such but not tonight she picked up the shirt and held it close to her face and breathed in Shawn's smell. She went into the bedroom, took her suit off from work and put Shawn's shirt on; to her it was a small piece of him, it gave her comfort and caused her heart to ache all at the same time. She got under the covers and cried herself to sleep.

Lassiter came home to his apartment and got into his pajamas. He made sure his handgun was available at a moments notice. Every molecule in his body was ready to jump to action at any minute. Eventually the fatigue of the day won out and he drifted off to sleep.

Right after sunrise he was awoken by the sound of glass breaking. He jumped out of bed, grabbed his gun and went to investigate. He went two steps out of the hallway into the living room and was tackled by two men. Both men were carrying knives and in the struggle all parties were cut. Eventually, by sheer determination he got the larger of the two to release his hold on him and that was all Lassiter needed to shoot the man in the chest. The other man was startled by the sound of gunfire and made a run for it. He was out the broken door before Lassiter could get out from under the larger man who he shot. Lassiter went to the door and fired a few shots but he was fairly certain that he missed and the man got away.

He came into the house again and went to the larger man's side that was now gasping for air. "Who are you, why did you break into my apartment?" The large man with all the strength he had left answered, "The bosses saw you and they wanted to play with you like they did with that other guy. They are going to be pissed now"…with those last words he died. Lassiter got up and beat the wall repeatedly with each punch saying, "Damn, Damn, Damn"

He went over to the couch and picked up the phone and called the Chief to tell her what happened and within 15 minutes Lassiter's apartment was swarming with the coroner and CSI. When the Chief arrived on the scene Lassiter was sitting on his bed rubbing his face trying to grasp what the large man told him. Now both Spencer and his life were in danger.

Chief Vick came into the bedroom and sat down next to Lassiter in the bed. "So tell me what happened?" He told her about the threats and she was furious. "Oh my God, they threatened you now too? We are going to have to put a guard on you as well, I can't have you hurt too." Lassiter looked at the Chief and held up his gun and told her, "No thanks on the security, I have my guns and they will protect me just fine, I think I proved that this morning."

Chief looked at him questioning him with her eyes. She told him she would agree if he would stay in a hotel until the scene is processed and his door is fixed and he agreed. Right after he agreed Juliet came busting in the apartment with a pair of skinny jeans on and a hoodie over Shawn's shirt. She breathlessly said, "I came as soon as I heard, Oh my God Carlton are you okay?"

Lassiter smiled at Juliet whose small frame was swimming in the large shirt. "Yeah I am fine two men who worked for the guys that hurt Shawn came in and tried to take me to their boss. I got one of them and I think I grazed the other one. Nothing hurt, I will just have to stay in a hotel till my apartment is no longer a crime scene."

Juliet without missing a beat, "Then you will come and stay in my guest bedroom. To be honest with you it would be nice to have some one else in the house with me" Lassiter made a funny face, "O'Hara thank you for the offer but I don't think it would be appropriate." Chief Vick interrupted, "Nonsense you two are both adults in committed relationships with other people. I think you staying with Juliet is a great idea and it would save the department money protecting you because you have Juliet there."

Lassiter threw his hands up in mock surrender. "Okay, Okay, I know when I am beat, let me pack a suitcase and I will go stay with O'Hara."

Chief told him, "Good, go pack up and O'Hara will get you settled at her place and change her clothes and then head to the station we have a few more leads that need followed up, and some monsters to catch."


	6. Chapter 6

Lassiter packed his suitcase and followed Juliet to her apartment. He grabbed his suitcase and followed her inside. He settled himself into the guest bedroom while O'Hara changed clothes. By the time Lassiter had hung up all his suits O'Hara was back with her hair in a bun and a suit on her body. They headed out to the station. When they got there the Chief motioned them into her office.

The two detectives sat down and the Chief filled them in on the evidence that they were able to find at his apartment. They had an identity on the man that was shot his name was Jeffery Simms. Simms was a registered sex offender and he had multiple counts of rape on his record, everything from children to other men. Chief told them the best break yet, "The DNA came back from the rape kit that they did on Shawn and they found a match his name is Ralph Belamy he lives at 1834 Ridgewood Ct. I think that you two need to go pay Mr. Belamy a visit."

The once exhausted pair was newly energized by the news of an actual lead in the case. They jumped in Lassiter's car and took off to arrest Mr. Belamy. The house was your normal red brick home. They almost expected a sign that said something like rapist lives here or at least a red light in the porch light. It was a beautiful well manicured home.

The two walked around the perimeter of the home and decided that Juliet would stay at the back and he would go through the front door. Lassiter tried to knock but nothing, when he heard something rustle on the inside he reared back and kicked open the door. As soon as the door broke open so did the shooting. Ralph was there and he was armed to the teeth. Lassiter yelled, "SBPD drop your weapon and come out now!" His plea was answered with another gunshot that Lassiter responded to with his own gunfire. Juliet heard the racket of a gun battle and quietly got into the back door so she could sneak up on Belamy and she did. Before she knew it she was looking at his baldhead. She rounded the corner and fired a bullet right into Belamy's shoulder. He dropped his gun and dropped to the floor.

Lassiter came rushing in and handcuffed the bleeding Belamy. He looked up at O'Hara and told her, "good shot". They hated it but they knew that Belamy was going to have to go to the same hospital Shawn was in. But that did not damper their happiness that they got the man they came after.

They both stood over Belamy smiling and proud of themselves to at least have captured one of the men that hurt Shawn then Juliet shrieked, "Carlton, you're bleeding!" Carlton was so fueled on adrenaline he didn't even feel that one of Belamy's bullets actually hit him, but after O'Hara pointed it out he started to feel a little woozy. Juliet got one of the kitchen chairs for him to sit in and she ripped open his shirt to see a clean through and through bullet hole right on his bicep area. She took of his tie and used it as a pressure bandage. She got on her radio and announced, "Detective Lassiter has been hit requesting additional ambulance."

A few minutes later, back up arrived along with the Chief, her head detective was injured she wasn't going to stay and wait for news. She ordered one of the uniforms to escort Mr. Belamy to the hospital and to stand guard on him at all times. She made the "All times" extra clear.

Another ambulance took or I should say tried to take Lassiter to the hospital. It took the Chief to give him a direct order to get him to cooperate with the paramedics. He argued that they needed him to process evidence. Chief assured him that she will stay with O'Hara and they promise not to leave a stone unturned. He finally gave in and let the Paramedics take him.

When he got to the hospital the doctor did and x-ray and saw that it was a clean wound with no other damage so he stitched him up and released him. He was going to go back to work but since he was at the hospital he decided to go up and see Spencer.

He came to the door and found Officer Marks dutifully standing guard over Spencer's door. He patted the officer on the arm and told him good morning. He told the officer he could go get some coffee or something while he was here, but the Officer declined the offer. "We were told to not leave our post for anything Sir. I will not let Spencer get hurt more on my watch Sir." Lassiter smiled at the young mans dedication and patted his shoulder and told him good man and walked through the door to visit with Shawn.

The room was dark and quiet, just the sound of Shawn breathing and the heart monitor chirping. Lassiter sat in the chair next to the bed and patted Shawn's hand. He was silent at first, and then began to fill him in on the case, "Well Spencer it has been quit a day so far, you don't know what your missing relaxing in this hospital bed. It started off with two goons breaking into MY apartment and trying to take me. They told me that the "bosses" saw me and wanted to "play" with me too. Well I can tell you only one walked out of my apartment the other bastard went out in a body bag. We were able to get some DNA from…you and got a name of one of the guys who hurt you. You will be happy to know we caught one of the guys that hurt you and best of all he was shot by O'Hara, they brought him to the hospital under guard but as soon as he is patched up he will be in the Hospital Jail and he will never get out of Jail."

Before he finished his words Spencer's eyes flashed open, he didn't look at anything in particular he just had a wild and terrified look on his face. It caught Lassiter by surprise he said, "Spencer, are you okay? Can you hear me?"

Shawn never answered he started to fight at an imagined attacker and yelling, "No, PLEASE, stop please, it hurts so bad, please God please make them stop," Lassiter screamed for help as he tried to almost lay over him to keep him still. Even drugged Lassiter was amazed at the strength Shawn was fighting him with, but Lassiter knew him struggling would rip apart all of his injuries so he tried his best to keep him still.

After a very long minute the doctor and nurses came rushing into the room. The doctor injected some syringe into Shawn's IV and he slowly calmed and drifted back into unconsciousness. Lassiter released his hold on the young man when he calmed down and slowly sat down. He was shocked and almost sick at what he heard Shawn say and the fear in which he said it. Lassiter looked at the doctor with wide eyes and asked, "What the HELL was that? I thought you told me that he would not wake up for a while now."

The doctor sat across from Lassiter and told him, "The drugs calm his body and make him sleep but sometimes when a person with a very alert and active brain goes through such a horrific experience that Mr. Spencer went through his brain can still be fighting to keep his body safe. We increased his sedation but we will make sure the nurses check on him more. Detective, his physical injuries will be relatively simple to recover from, his mental healing is going to take a lot longer. I am glad he has people around him that love him and will support him."

Lassiter was actively fighting back tears now; he was determined not to cry in front of the doctor. He looked at him and said, "Thank you doctor, and you don't know Spencer he doesn't give you the luxury of not loving him. Believe me I have tried to hate the man for the last few years but I finally gave up. He is kind of like a dog that smells a person is afraid of them and the dog will give that person more attention until that person finally likes the dog. Spencer if a good man and he will not be alone through any of this. I have never met a more trusting and loyal friend then this man. He has given so much to so many there will be a line down the block of people ready to give back to him."


	7. Chapter 7

The doctor smiled and left Lassiter in the room alone with Shawn. Lassiter grabbed Shan's hand and told him, "You have been through more pain in the last month than is fair for anyone to have in a lifetime. I wish I would have known how deep your father's death was hurting you. We left you alone because we thought you needed the alone time. It wasn't because we didn't care. I am so sorry we let you down, but it won't happen again. We will keep you safe and we will catch the other bad guy and most important we will be right her with you through everything. You will never have to worry about being alone. I have to get back to work now but there is an officer right outside your door and the rest of us will be by daily to sit with you okay?" he squeezed his hand and he walked out of the room.

Lassiter called McNab to come and pick him up and take him back to the crime scene. Lassiter came in with his bandaged arm and hospital scrubs top on. Chief Vick saw him and scolded, "Detective are you supposed to be out of the hospital you look pale?" He answered, "The wound in my arm was a clean through and through no big deal. I am pail because what happened when I went up to see Shawn." Juliet heard him and walked deeper in to the room asking, "Shawn, oh my God is he okay what happened?"

Lassiter sat on the coffee table in front of McNab, Vick and O'Hara and he told them all about the experience in the hospital. By the time he was done O'Hara and Vick were both in tears and McNab was speechless. The first person to speak was McNab, "I know Francine would be interested in sitting with him after school and working on her knitting and chatting with him." Lassiter smiled at the officer and said, "I think that Shawn would like that a lot."

Juliet was next to speak, "I thought he would have been so drugged he wouldn't know we were there or not but now I know he does know, I will be by to sit with him whenever I am able to."

Chief Vick was next, "Lets put out the call to everyone and make a schedule of people to sit with him. We never worried about this before if he was injured we all knew Henry would never leave his side but now, now we get to help, we will launch operation Shawn Spencer when we are done here."

Lassiter smiled and then rubbed his tired face and said, "What have you all found so far?" O'Hara was very excited to show him a framed picture in an evidence bag, "This is who we think was partners with Belamy in his little "business" we have found piles and piles of pornography most of which included children and the pictures go back years and years. We should have enough with just that to keep Belamy behind bars for life not to mention the shooting a cop and raping a consultant part."

Lassiter looked at the picture and said, "Great but how will we find out who Mr. Big is in the picture?" Chief Vick pointed to three boxes of papers and 2 laptops, "We go through those and hope for the best." Lassiter let out a deep breath and said, "Well we have to launch Operation Shawn Spencer and sort through these piles of filth we better get back to the station and get busy, and don't tell me to go home and rest Chief, after witnessing what I did from Shawn today I am not sure if I will ever be able to sleep as long as Mr. Big is out there."

Back at the station Chief Vick stood up on Lassiter's desk and blew a whistle to get everyone's attention. Everyone turned to look at her and she began, "Most of you know that our consultant Psychic, Shawn Spencer has been a victim of a horrible crime and now lays in a hospital bed unconscious and fighting for his life. Many of you have volunteered your time to stand guard on his door and I want to thank you so much for that. He is one of us and we all took a vow to keep our own safe. It has come to my attention this afternoon that Shawn's body may be asleep but his mind is not and we all know how much quiet irritates Shawn, we would like to launch Operation Shawn Spencer. Could you all ask wives and parents if any of them would be willing to volunteer a few hours a week tom sit with Shawn and read to him or anything just to break the silence up. I will post a sign up sheet tomorrow for any volunteers, Thank you."

Lassiter held out his hand to help the Chief down. Lassiter, Chief and O'Hara went into the conference room shut the blinds and began to work through the piles and piles of stuff that was taken from Belamy's home. They worked quietly and quickly organizing things into piles, pictures that will be kept as evidence in one, papers and photos to hint at anyone in there network of porn and finally anything that would lead us to the identity of Mr. Big.

After two hours of sorting they had a list of 12 associates to Mr. Belamy and then Lassiter found what they were looking for, it was a money transfer from Belamy to a Mr. John Wilson he got up and ran to his computer and looked Wilson up in the sexual offenders data base and nothing. Then he moved to the database for anyone with a record and still nothing so he tried the DMV and they got a hit.

John Wilson 1372 Papaya lane

Before Lassiter could get up to storm out after Wilson, Freddy from the lab came up and told Lassiter and the Chief they finally have a match on the second "sample". He apologized for it taking a while they had to look through a lot of records and finally found it. The sample belongs to a, Lassiter interrupted and finished his sentence John Wilson. The lab tech shook his head astonished and asked, "How did you know, has some of Spencer's Psychicness rubbed off on you?" They all laughed, "No we got the same name when you did that's all."

Lassiter gathered a team together this time and they left to arrest Wilson so they can start to put this nightmare behind them once and for all.

They arrived at the nondescript home and did not knock or anything the office next to Lassiter used a hand held battering ram and made quick work of the door. They found Wilson with another man in the back bedroom that was set up with film equipment. They came in with guns drawn yelling "Freeze". They took Wilson by surprise and they cuffed him and put him in the back of the police car and took him straight to the station. Before the officer took him out the office asked if they should get some clothes for him? Lassiter looked at the man with extreme disgust, "No he wont need clothes, give him a nice new orange jump suit when you get to the station. That is all this no good Son of a Bitch deserves." They released the other man from his bonds and asked if he was here on his on free will? The man said, "Yes Wilson hired him for a job in his latest movie."

Lassiter looked at the man and said, "Sorry but your movie début will have to wait." The man sat in bed pouting and then Lassiter barked, "Get dressed and leave before I decide to arrest you." The man gathered his clothes and ran out of the house. They spent the next few hours processing the scene and then they decided they should probably head back to the station to finish processing Wilson, they made sure to do everything by the book so nothing would stand in the way of him spending the rest of his life in jail.

It took them both two hours to finish the paper work and they looked at each other and Juliet sighed, "We should go home and get some sleep." Lassiter bit his lip, "Yeah it has been a long day but I think there is someone that needs to know we got these guys." Juliet smiled and said, "Would you mind some company with you?" Lassiter smiled and shook his head no.

They arrived at the hospital after visiting hours so they were thankful for the fact that they had badges that got them around a lot of hospital rules. They came into Shawn's room and sat on either side of the unconscious man. They both took his a hand. Juliet started to speak in a sweet and soft voice, "Hi there sweet heart, I have so missed you but I am glad you are here so you can get better. I can't wait till this is all over and we can start our lives together. I hope you know that I love you more than anything in this world and I am always going to be right there with you. Lassie is here with me and he has some news he wants to share with you."

Lassiter smiled at Juliet and then had to pause a minute to gather himself, "Spencer the men that attacked you are behind bars, I promised you we would get them and we did. They will never be able to hurt you or any one else ever again. The nightmare is over buddy the only thing left now is the healing and we will be there with you every step of the way."

Lassiter had to take a moment to wipe a few stray tears from his eyes when Juliet caught his attention by waving and silently pointed to Shawn. He had a small stream of tears falling from his shut eyes. He was unconscious but he knew what he was being told. Lassiter saw the tears and saw Juliet's tears and the stress and anxiety of the last few days washed over them and soon all three of them were crying tears of relief.

(Thank you so much for your sweet reviews they mean so much to me. We have injured Shawn and caught the bad guys now we have to wake Shawn up and watch how he heals without the strength of his Dad to help him. I am sure there will be some tears but that is what makes a story fun ;) Thank you again for taking the time to read my work)


	8. Chapter 8

A week later while wrapping up work Lassiter got a call from the hospital, the person on the other end of the phone simply told him to come as soon ad he could. Lassiter told them they would be right there and hung up the phone. He looked at Juliet and said, "That was the hospital they need us to come right away." Juliet looked at Lassiter with tears welling in her eyes, "Did they give you a reason?" Lassiter silently shook his head no and started to head out the door with Juliet following right behind him.

The short and now very familiar car ride to the hospital was,quiet. Lassiter pulled into the parking space and Juliet grabbed his arm, "You don't think he is, dying do you?" Lassiter patted her hand and said, "We won't know till we get up there, I am right here with you." They got out of the car and nervously walked up to Shawn's room.

They stopped at the door almost fearful to open it. A nurse noticed then and said thank God you are here. She went into the room and motioned the two now petrified people to follow. Shawn was stirring but he was being restrained. We tried to start bringing him out of sedation but we had to stop because he was so agitated. We were hoping you two could help us calm him down so we could stop the medication all together.

Lassiter walked over to the bed and put his hand on Shawn's shoulder he told him in a calm voice that he and Juliet were there to see him. Shawn instantly calmed down. Juliet grabbed his hand on the other side and started to rub gently circles in his palm with her thumb, "That's right baby we are here to see those gorgeous green eyes of yours, but they wont finish stopping the meds unless you stay calm okay. We are here for you, no one is going to hurt you, we just want to see you."

The doctor had joined them at this point, he came up and greeted the pair and thanked them for their help. He said, "If you both are ready, I will shut off the medication and he should start to wake up soon." Lassiter kept patting Shawn's arm and told Shawn (and the doctor) he was going to take the restraints off of him but you have to stay really calm okay Shawn. Remember we are right here ready to visit with you." Lassiter slowly unbuckled the restraints on both sides. Juliet picked up Shawn's hand and Lassiter picked up the other one.

Within 10 minutes Shawn's eyes were starting to flutter open. Juliet smiled and said, "That's it wake up and talk to us." Shawn opened his eyes but he could only see shapes at first and his mind immediately went back to his attackers. He screamed and scrunched his face and started to beg them to leave him alone. Juliet bit her bottom lip not knowing how to get through to him.

Lassiter being the take charge kinda guy he is released Shawn's hand and reached up until he was nearly nose to nose with Shawn. He cupped his face in his long fingers and gently said, "Shawn you are not being attacked anymore, your attackers are in jail and they will never get out of jail. Juliet and I are here to visit with you. You are in the hospital. Gus will be by later too."

Shawn blinked a few times until his eyesight was clear and he looked into Lassiter's eyes not believing it was really him. He started to cry and said, "Are you real Lassie? Is it really over now?" Lassiter answered him, "Yes Shawn it is really over and you are safe now." Shawn started to sob and Lassiter pulled the younger man into a hug.

After a few minutes Shawn calmed down and Lassiter released him. Shawn wiped his eyes and smiled a smile at Juliet that didn't quit get to his eyes yet but Juliet was glad he was trying. Juliet looked at the man that she adored and asked, "How are you feeling?" Shawn let out a halfhearted giggle and said, "Like I went a 100 rounds with Vlad the impeller and lived to talk about it." Juliet just smiled a sad smile at his attempt at humor.

Juliet looked sweetly at him and asked if he remembered anything about his attacks and what happened before them. Shawn closed his eyes in an attempt to really concentrate, "I remember going to Dad's funeral and when I got to his house I decided to sit in my bed and read through the sympathy cards. They were all really sweet until I got to one that told me 'they' were back and they were coming after me. I went and got Henry's gun and curled up in my bed and just waited. I guess I fell asleep when I woke up they were over top of me and my head hurt and…" He looked down at the blankets and just stared for a moment trying not to break down anymore. Lassiter patted his arm, "We figured out most of what happened next. Do you remember me finding you?"

Shawn looked at him confused and almost angry, "How did you figure out what happened next? You know about the smaller man taking three turns and the bigger man taking two? You know about them using things in my room to F# K me while the other man 'got off' on seeing me squirm; you know how when I fought them they stabbed me. You know how I cried for somebody, anybody to help me, but no one came. You know how I screamed in pain when they ripped me. You know all that!"

Lassiter just looked at Shawn, "No I didn't know any of that, but if you want to talk about it, I am willing to listen." Juliet with a cracking voice agreed with her partner, "You have me here too, I am not going to leave you no matter what."

Shawn was stifling his sobs so much his bottom lip started to pout out like a child, he looked at Juliet and said, "Juliet, I love you so much but I want you to go and see other people. You deserve a whole man not damaged goods, please leave."

Juliet stood up and leaned over the bed and laid a passionate kiss on her Shawn and said, "Listen here you hard headed man, I don't care what shape you are in, I love YOU and that is never going to change okay!"

Shawn covered his face with his free hand and said, "No Jules, it isn't fair, I can still vividly remember the attacks when I was a child and now I can tell you every detail every minute and god dammit I don't know if I can ever get those images out of my mind, enough to ever be the man that you deserve. Please leave me Jules you deserve better than me." Juliet pulled her boyfriend into a hug, "Nope isn't happening Shawn we promised each other we love each other forever and that is what I am going to do." They both sat and cried in each other's arms for a few minutes.

The doctor came in a few minutes later and asked Shawn how he was doing? Shawn looked at Lassiter and Juliet and said, "I am doing okay Doc."

The Doctor said with a smile, "We are going to run some tests tomorrow and if they come back the way I think we will take you into surgery to remove the colostomy bag and start you on some real food by the next day. Before you know it you will be back home. You have been unconscious for two weeks, I bet you are pretty hungry."

Shawn looked at the doctor funny, "I have been out for two weeks?" The Doctor answered, "Two weeks and a few days, we wanted to give your insides time to heal and it appears that they have and you are ready to start the next phase in your recovery." Shawn just smiled at the doctor and the doctor left.

Lassiter looked at Juliet stifling a yawn, "O'Hara go home get some rest, I will stay with Shawn tonight. Be sure to let Gus and the Chief know how our patient is doing." Juliet looked at Lassiter and said, "Are you sure?" then looked at Shawn, "Will you be okay with Lassiter if you want me to stay I will." Shawn smiled and blew her a kiss, "Go home Jules get some rest, Lassie and I will be just fine." She got up and gave one more smile at them both then left.

Lassiter got up took his jacket and shoes off and shut all the lights out except the one over the bed, He asked the guard on his door to go and get him some coffee and then told the young man he was going to be the guard tonight. Soon Lassiter had his coffee and the two men sat alone in Shawn's room. Lassiter told Shawn, "If you want to talk, I am here and I am a good listener but if you just want to sleep, that is fine too. I know you probably don't want to talk about a lot of stuff with Juliet in the room that is why I sent her home."

Shawn looked at Lassiter and said, "Thank you so much Lassie and I would very much like to talk, this damn memory of mine keeps running what happened to me over and over like a sick horrible movie." Lassiter patted his leg; "Whatever you tell me will just be between you and me okay?"

Shawn smiled, "When I was three I was so excited about my upcoming birthday, it was going to be at Chuck E Cheese and all my friends were going to come. One day while in my back yard playing a man snuck up behind me and put his hand over my mouth so I couldn't scream and then …"

The two men talked and cried and hugged till 4 in the morning when Shawn fell asleep mid sentence. Lassiter covered the younger man up and tucked him into his bed and kissed him on the forehead, like you would kiss a child and said, "Sweet dreams Spencer, you deserve them."


	9. Chapter 9

Shawn's body was healing nicely. The doctors kept him in the hospital for another 3 weeks. Shawn was really good at putting on masks for Gus and Juliet but Lassiter could see through the façade. One evening when all three friends were visiting the doctor came in and announced that because Shawn was doing so amazingly well that they were going to release him in 2 days as long as he can stay with someone. The doctor made sure that the friends realized physically he was fine but emotionally he did not need to be alone.

Juliet and Gus were thrilled, Juliet immediately offered for Shawn to come and stay with her. She told him, "We were planning on moving in together eventually this seems like the perfect time." Shawn forced a smile on his face but his eyes screamed in terror.

Juliet and Gus were so excited about finally having Shawn home and they made plans for Gus to help hang out with Shawn while she was at work. They were so busy planning his home coming that they did not notice the fear that was building in his eyes at the thought of staying with Juliet and the expectations that would she would have for him.

Lassiter noticed the whole situation was starting to overwhelm Shawn so he casually looked at his watch and said, "Wow it is sure getting late we should probably go and let Shawn here get some rest." The others looked at the clock on the wall and agreed. They both apologized for keeping Shawn up.

Gus gave Shawn a fist bump and promised he would bring a smoothie with him tomorrow. Juliet leaned over the bed and sweetly kissed Shawn and said, "I am so excited to have you back in my arms, I love you." Shawn smiled and weakly said, "I love you too Jules." As they walked out he waved with a smile on his face but he whispered, "I am sorry" at them as they left.

Lassiter was the last to leave the room and he heard the sorry that Shawn whispered and he stopped and stepped back into the room, "Shawn, it is going to be okay we are all going to be by your side no matter what ok?" Shawn bit his lips and forced another fake smile and just shook his head at Lassiter.

Lassiter left and took Juliet and Gus back to the station to get their cars. Lassiter went into the station and sat at his desk, he figured he wasn't tired so might as well get some paper work done. He kept having this nagging feeling that Shawn was not okay but he put it out of his mind for about an hour. The feeling something was wrong with Shawn was now SCREAMING in his head so he shut the file and decided to go and check up on Shawn.

He drove back to the hospital in silence trying to push the thoughts that were racing through his mind out. He made it to Shawn's room and on his bed was his small backpack and a white envelope addressed to Lassiter.

_Dear Lassie, _

_Thank you for being my surrogate father through these attacks. You have been really swell and I thank you. I can't take the memories anymore and I certainly cannot move in with Juliet. She would expect things from me that I just cannot do right now. I know she wouldn't push the issue but she would be disappointed and I couldn't live with disappointing her. Gus is a good man will you please watch over him for me and make sure that he is okay without me. I am sure he will be it is usually me that depends on him not the other way around. Please tell Chief Vick that she helped me live out a childhood dream. I am eternally grateful for her love and her confidence in me. _

_Since I was 4 I couldn't live without my Daddy I guess at 34 I haven't grown past that, so I am going to go and be with him. This is the only way the memories are going to stop and they have to stop. Thank you detective for constantly challenging me. You are part of the reason I have stayed for so long. You kept things new and unique for me. _

_You can find my body on the north corner of the hospitals roof. It was nice knowing you all.  
Love always,_

_Shawn_

Lassiter threw the letter back on the bed and shouted, "God Damn it Spencer" and took off running for the roof. He made it to the North corner of the roof and looked around but no Spencer. Lassiter fell to his knees and started to cry, he began punching the wall that was next to him in frustration.

Shawn walked out of the shadows and told Lassiter, "You are going to hurt your hand if you do that." Lassiter looked up and saw that it was Shawn and went over to him and hugged him. Lassiter grabbed his shoulders and held him out at arms length and looked him over, "Are you okay, do you need a doctor, I thought you were going to jump and I thought I was too late."

Shawn's eyes began to fall and his speech began to slur, "Silly lassie-face I wasn't gonna jump but you are too late." Lassiter started to say something then Shawn went limp in his arms and a small pill bottle rolled out of his hands. Lassiter gently laid Shawn down and picked up the bottle. It was the new bottle of pain medication that the doctors given him that morning it had 60 pills in it but now it only had maybe 15.

Lassiter shoved the pills in his pocket and picked Shawn up bridal style and carried him to the elevator. In the elevator Shawn stopped breathing. Lassiter laid him on the floor and began CPR on him. He was getting frustrated that the elevator wasn't moving. In between breaths he noticed he didn't push a button. He shook his head in frustration and pushed the button for first floor and went back to CPR.

When the doors opened on the first floor several nurses and doctors were waiting for the elevator and were shocked to see Lassiter giving someone CPR on the floor of the elevator.

One of the doctors stepped up and asked what happened, Lassiter answered, "This is Shawn Spencer he is a patient here and I found him on the roof he apparently took over half a bottle of his pain pills." Lassiter handed the doctor the pills as the orderlies placed Shawn on a stretcher and took him back into the ER. One of the nurses that was waiting for the elevator was actually straddling Shawn and continuing the compressions while the orderly pumped and oxygen mask. The doctor told Lassiter to wait in the waiting room and to please call whatever family he has to be with him. He warned that they were going to do all they could do but the odds of surviving this kind of overdose is slim to none.

Lassiter's eyed widened at the doctors words. He began to rub his head and he sat and just rocked back and forth in the chairs at the ER. "How cant this be happening, I should have listened to my gut and got here earlier. We should have seen this coming." He stopped rocking and steadied himself; he took a few deep breaths and then took out his phone and called Juliet and Gus.


	10. Chapter 10

Shawn was rushed back to the Emergency room and the doctors and nurses began to work feverishly to try and save the young Psychic's life. For a few minutes Shawn could hear the hustle and bustle around him but soon the sounds of yelling doctors and nervous nurses faded away. Shawn found himself sitting on the beach on a bright and sunny day. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of warmth on his face.

His blissful silence was interrupted by a touch on his shoulder. He popped open his eyes only to see his Father sitting on the bench next to him. Shawn was so excited to see his Father again. He embraced him tightly and began to tell him how much he missed him, and how much he missed his words of wisdom. His Father hugged him back then held him at arms length so he could see his face.

"We don't have much time, what in the world are you doing here son." Shawn smiled at the realization that this must be heaven, "I couldn't do it alone Dad. Those men came back and they hurt me again but this time you weren't there to protect me. Lassiter saved me but, Dad, the memories and the images in my head would never ever go away, I couldn't stand it anymore Dad. I took a whole bottle of pills Dad so I could come and be with you."

Henry looked at his son for a moment and shook his head, "Shawn Henry Spencer, you mean to tell me that you tried to commit suicide? Spencer men do NOT take their own lives do you hear me?" Shawn was hurt, "I couldn't do it Daddy, and every time my eyes closed they were in my head doing horrible things to me. My friends are trying to help me but they aren't you Dad, I need you."

"Son you listen to me and you listen to me right now. It is not time for you to be here yet. I lived a long life, it was my time, and you still have to get married and have babies and solve crimes. Your life isn't done yet son, you need to head back now while you still can."

Shawn crossed his arms like a small pouting child, "I cant Dad, I just can't"

Henry stood up in front of his son and cupped his face in his hands, "Son, I would like nothing more than to have you with me for eternity, but I know you have a life to lead and good to accomplish, so I am going to give you one last bit of Fatherly help and then you are going back okay?" Henry leaned down and kissed his son's forehead, "Now LEAVE".

Shawn stuttered, "Wait Dad, wait no I don't want to leave you Dad wait" He felt another hand on his shoulder and he heard a soft voice saying, "Mr. Spencer, your back with us, thank God, it is ok stay calm you are in a hospital, do you remember what happened?"

Shawn opened his eyes and looked around he wasn't on the bright and sunny beach anymore he was in a bright and sterile hospital. Then it all came rushing back to him, "Yeah I remember, I tried to kill myself by taking pills. I don't remember why though, I know I was stabbed but I am having trouble remembering everything else."

The nurse patted his cheek, "That's great Mr. Spencer, you close your eyes and relax while they finish up and I will go and let your friends know how you are doing. They can come and see you soon." Shawn smiled and thanked the nurse.

Lassiter, Juliet and Gus were assembled in the waiting room ready to pounce on the first medical professional they thought might have news on Shawn. They soon got their wish, "Friends for Mr. Spencer?" All three of them echoed "here over here"

The Nurse came over to them with a huge smile on her face, "I am not sure how, but Mr. Spencer is alive. We couldn't find a heart beat for 6 minutes while he was back in the ER but by some miracle he woke up. He remembers you all, he remembers trying to take his life but he doesn't remember many of the facts from his attack."

Lassiter stunned said, "What to you mean he is having trouble remembering? The nurse smiled, "I think given the extent of his trauma's that is a good thing. He wants to see all of you, but he asked Detective Lassiter to come in first." They all three looked at each other oddly and Lassiter went with the nurse to Shawn's room.

Lassiter timidly pushed the door open. He was greeted by Shawn's smiling face. Lassiter came in and headed straight for the young detective and pulled him into a huge hug. While holding on to the young man tightly he said, "Oh Shawn, don't ever do that again, you scared me so bad. I thought you had died in my arms." Gently laying the detective back down to the bed, Lassiter composed himself, "Do you know what you would have done to Guster and O'Hara if you left, and hell I would miss you too."

Shawn smiled at the uncharacteristic show of emotions from the elder detective. Shawn said, "I wanted to see you first because I wanted to have a moment to thank you. I thought with my Dad not here that I would be alone and no one would be there to look out for me. I have Gus and Jules but well, they are Gus and Jules. When I was on the table dying I saw my Dad, he reminded me that you have been saving my sorry behind for the last 7 years, and that I am not alone."

Lassiter patted Shawn's shoulder and said, "He was right you aren't alone and you never will be alone. You _make_ everyone love you, even if they desperately don't want to. Listen the nurse said that you don't remember many of the details of what happened to you?" Shawn smiled, "You are going to think I am absolutely nuts but before I came back Dad told me, "let me do this last thing to help you" and he reached over and kissed my forehead. I think somehow he took some of those images out of my mind so that I can heal. I know what happened to me, but I am not replaying it in my head like a horrible movie anymore."

Lassiter smiled, "I don't think that is crazy, sounds like something Henry would do. He was a good man and I hope you realize that you were his world. God forbid anything happened to you, we always drew straws to see what unlucky bastard had to call and tell Henry something was wrong with his only son."

Both men laughed and agreed Henry was a one of a kind. Lassiter excused himself to go and get the others.

Shawn lay in the bed looking at the ceiling smiling. For the first time since his Father died he could actually smile and think about the future. Thanks to his Dad giving him that one last gift he was going to be able to have a future and it is going to be amazing.

_SIX MONTHS LATER_

Shawn was standing at the front of a small church decorated with beautiful bouquets of spring flowers. He was wearing a Black tux and converse tennis shoes and beside him stood Gus and Lassiter on the other side of the isle was Chief Vick and Juliet's college roommate. Then the back doors of the Church opened and Shawn began to cry happy tears as Juliet came through the doors dressed in the most beautiful white dress with a small gold pineapple on the belt. Her Step Father accompanied her. The wedding was beautiful filled with so much love. They took the time in the middle of the service to place a rose on the front row seat that had a picture of Henry in it.

When the minister uttered the words "It is my honor to present Mr. and Mrs. Shawn Henry Spencer." Shawn knew that his Dad was right. It wasn't his time all those months ago. He still missed his father everyday but he was determined to live everyday to its fullest and raise the child that Juliet just found out about in that same little house on the Beach. In that house he knew his Dad would never be far away.

##### Thank you so much for reading, my girls told me I got a little too sappy with this ending but I was going one of three ways, this ending, writing as a slash (shassie) ending or killing Shawn. I went with sappy Thank you again for taking the time to read my story.####

-Post note, can you all help me and challenge me. I have got in the habit of writing either angsty or fluffy stories. What direction should Shawn and the gang go one now. Smut, slash or whatever. I want to write something out of my comfort zone. It is kinda sad that rape and suicide has become my comfort zone rotfl. I value your input


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